i hate this feeling... feeling like buckets of water are pouring down my face, but really they're just tears. i didn't want anyone to really know how i felt today and i guess i was good at hiding it, and some of the time i focused on other things, but honestly i actually felt like giving up. i'm scared... about everything. i just don't feel secure with anything in my life right now... and i sound so stupid talking about this, but i don't care i just need to get it out of my head. what is wrong with me? i'm having an emotional breakdown. i want a hug, i wanna feel loved, i know i am but i just wanna be reassured and i know how arrogant that seems, but i need to hear it. everyone needs to hear it sometime.

amber

so i feel dumb... i definitely just tried to use my cell phone as a mouse. mmm yeah.

this past weekend on friday we had a game at blacksburg, and it was there homecoming game, and we beat them. YAY  cave spring who is undefeated. then the next day we had a competition in patrick county... we got second place for like everything but that's okay i guess. we have another competition this saturday... yay.

next week will be seven months for me and bryan. yay!!

mal is coming in on wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sooooo excited. we're going to have so much fun with each other!! i miss her so much, and i need to see her bird... and she has to see my raptor. which i'm famous for. mmmm yeah, speaking of the raptor me and molly are going to make an ebaumsworld video of that. i'm going to become famous! just kidding. i doubt i can become famous for a raptor. but ya never know.

i talked to kaeli the other day!!! which made me miss servants a lot. but it's gonna be awesome next year because i know what to expect. hopefully my music won't get lost in the mail this time. haha. i remember when mal told me that me and her made it. i was walking out of the school and she ran up to me and tackled me and we started screaming. then we had the whole countdown thing. it was awesome.

i saw tara, jessi, and courtney this weekend!! i jumped on all of them.

i defintely have a bug bite on my face.... because molly didn't slap the moisquito in time.... but it was funny, and it's not really that noticeable....

on the way back from the competition on saturday me and molly were soooooo hyper it was the funniest thing ever. me and molly have some good times, and i need to get my homecoming pictures developed sometime... because the morning after homecoming me and molly made breakfast and took pictures of it... it was sooo funny.

yesterday me and molly went to the RAC and i'm actually pretty dang sore.... and this old man was doing these calf weights and he was doing like 190 or something.... and i swear my jaw dropped because he looked like he was 75 or 76.... that would've been a good old man for my grandma... she needs a man in her life. haha. how cute would it be if my grandma started dating. awwwwwww. okay well i guess this is a good entry. yay! peace.

i love bryan a lot. =D

-amber-

oh my goodness! homecoming was awesome last night! i got my hair done and stuff, and then i went over to molly's house to get ready with her, jackie, courtney, and stephanie... then afterwards i went down the street to bryan's house and took a bunch of pictures with him and stuff, then everyone met up and went up to courtney's house and took more pictures... if you can't tell we took a lot of pictures. then we went to franks, and me and bryan and alex and brittany were waiting outside for everyone else and this person in a car took a picture of me and bryan.... it was so weird and we didn't know them. we ate and ended up being 45 minutes late to homecoming. haha. we're so prompt. everyone told me how pretty i look and stuff... it made me feel good. me and bryan danced sooooooo much; i'm actually sore today. he looked sooo good, and he kept telling me i looked gorgeous and stuff like that. homecoming was sooooooooooooo much fun!!! and then me and bryan got ice cream and i spent the night with molly. yay! and apparently my friend has  a boyfriend... she called me yesterday and told me but i couldn't talk because i was getting ready.... but i was sooooooooooooo happy!!!!!!! oh my goodness.

on friday i got really sick.... for some odd reason and i had to leave school early but that's all good now.... okay well i'm gonna go. peace out.

ambs

i haven't updated in forever, and i have been informed by several people that i need to. i've actually had a pretty crazy week... so i guess i'll tell everyone about it.

friday i went to the movies with bryan and we met some of his friends there... and yeah they were a little tipsy, if you know what i mean. but it was so funny. we went to see the exorsism of emily rose... it was suspenseful but i really don't think it's anything i would recommend anyone to see, because it honestly wasn't that great. during the movie me and bryan got up and moved to sit with britt and nader, and then some of bryan's friends started throwing popcorn at us and we threw it back. it was really funny. afterwards i went to molly's house and spent the night, we had fun but we actually fell asleep rather early... next time we will not fall asleep.

saturday...  i had a benefit concert for hurracaine Katrina... there were 300 people there i

think. it's good to know that i did my part helping. afterwards i watched cheyanne and

cody because there dad was in the hospital. bryan came over  and helped me watch

them and he also got his shirt and tie for homecoming, yay! by the way the color i'm typing

in is the color of my homecoming dress!!!!! owwww!!!! homecoming is 2 weeks away

and i'm soooo excited. anyways i got a little distracted. everyone watched shrek then me

and bryan sat on the porch talking and holding each other, it was something we really

needed, because we've both been really busy lately.

i miss mallory a lot... we talk a lot though which makes me really happy. it's amazing how many people look up to her, she's a great person to look up to, and she was definitely like a sister to me. she confided in me, and that made me really happy, i confided in her. and whenever i was down she would always lift me up. when she comes in to visit, we are going to party like never before.

well i should probably get ready to go to church... be proud of me that i updated. okay well leave me some comments.

peace

-amber-

this might be a really entertaining xanga entry... because i'm at molly's house right now and you might want to consider what time it is... on a school night... becaues me and her had goody bags for flag cops and we are slackers and didn't have much time so we spent forever (most of our lives) working on those stupid shirts that won't dry fast enough... yeah some of them are actually pretty sucky looking. but we tried and if the people don't like them... well then i'm going to be a very grumpy person. molly's dad definitely doesn't know i'm here and we have to get up butt crack early!!! we have a home football game tomorrow which actually means we have to perform and we're going to suck. to top all of my day off i missed most of the first episode of this new season of the o.c... bryan was depressed because i didn't get to watch it with him but i sang to him and it made him feel bettter... and i'm sooo tired right now that i'm not even looking at what i'm typing. i actually have my head down on the floor falling asleep even though i have posters to make and geometry homework to do.

i'm so glad i'm with bryan i just felt like saying that... because i really think that he is the best boyfriend in the whole world... at least to me he is. yay! it makes me really happy whenever i think about being with him. and if he's reading this then i hope it makes his day so much better!!

well considering the time i should probably get some stuff done before it's time to wake up... heh... okay well have a good day.

-amber-